5 Steps To Ease Separation Anxiety in a Child
Does your child cry when your spouse wants to hold her? Or does your little toddler try to keep a hold of you even when you are not leaving? Does she not want to be held by anyone other than you and throws tantrums or gets scared when you leave? There are a few tricks to ease any separation anxiety.
1. Accept It
This too shall pass. Your child will not be clingy forever. Usually, the worst time for separation anxiety is before the child’s first birthday. It might even break your heart a little bit, when he doesn’t want to cling to you as much any more.
2. Trapped
Don’t feel trapped. Sometimes a crying baby, that will do nothing other than hang onto you all day and all night, can be overwhelming. You may feel as though you have too many other things to take care of, and it would be much easier if the baby would just let go a little bit. Don’t get angry, the baby just loves you that much, and wants to be close to you.
3. Know You’re Here
If they even start to scream when you leave the room, continue to chat if you have to do the laundry. You can even record messages of your voice, singing, talking or reading a book, to help make it easier for you and the baby.
4. Don’t Disappear
For a baby that is terrified of being left. Do not disappear when she is not looking. Many toddlers should be watched at all times. Play peek-a-boo with the baby. This is a great way to let your know that just because you can’t see someone, doesn’t mean they are not there. You can act like a ghost, and pull a sheet over your head. For older children, you can make things like balls and cups disappear and come right back.
5. Reassure Your Partner
Let your partner know he is doing nothing wrong. Many partners, men and women can feel left out, if the baby only wants to be with and cling to one of the adults. Let them know that this is just a stage too. Do activities together, so that the baby feels more comfortable with whichever person it is that’s being left out. Let the person know that toddler does not love you more.
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April 1st, 2009 at 7:11 am
These are great suggestions! Separation anxiety is a normal and necessary stage for young children. It helps them to create strong attachments. The more that parents can understand that, the more that they can feel confident that they need to do things like go out to help their child practice these skills!
For most children, this will just be a stage that they will pass through with flying colors, if parents are in need of more information or have concerns about their child, they may wish to check out my book: Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcoming Your Child’s Fears, Worries and Phobias.
Tamar Chansky
http://www.freeingyourchild.com